Can't Stop Thinking About You
by Amy100
Summary: Sirius Black is handsome, popular and intimidating. Keira Mcain is quiet and beautiful, but tries to stay away from Sirius, although her attempts don't usually work . As the year draws on, and they get closer and closer, will Keira resist the temptation or leave Sirius? Includes smut and mature content.
1. Chapter 1

Sirius Black stood inplatform nine and three quarters, watching the steam billowing out ofthe scarlet train ashe waited patiently for Remus, who was late. He was standing next to James, who was talking about Lily again. Sirius wasn't  
Really

listening. He usually took this time right at the start of the year to appreciate how much the girlsfrom hogwarts had changed over thesummer.

Shallow? Yes. But he needed to have an ideaofhow his 'distractions' were going to look this year.

After noting how much curvier Mary McDonalds was,he turned his attention to James again. Really, he didn't know why he liked lily so much. Sure, she was cute, but there were so many other hotter girls who would be more than willing to go out with him.  
/Well, his loss.

"Hey, Padfoot!" He turned to see Remus, walking towards them with Peter at his heels. "How was summer with James?"

"Great" Sirius grinned, revealing his straight, white teeth. " Shame you couldnt come, in the last week we-"

"Guys" said James urgently "Lily's here!"

"So what?" Frowned Remus

"Should I go talk to her?"

The obvious answer was no, but Sirius chose not tosaw anything.

He looked behindRemus, where, sure enough, was Lily Evans,chatting to Keira Mcain, her best friend. Shit, Keira was hot. Sleek dark brown hair that reached her waist, golden-green eyes and with a tall slim figure. She was a quiet girl with an unusually  
/calm demeanor. She was good friends with Remus and James, but Keira and Sirius rarely talked. Easily the best lookinggirl in their year, but they'd never hooked up. Sure, he'd tried inthe fourth year but she made it clear it wasn'tgoingto

happen. She then went on to hook up with plenty of other guys, though, from what he'd heard. He wasn't going to ask her ego was far too big to tryand get rejectedagain.

Looking at her now though he could see why people could like her, not only being hot as hell butalso being different from the other girls. He'd gotten over it though. The only time he really acknowledged her was in the many detentions they had together  
/- for a girl so quiet it was surprising how many detentions she received- and the nights in the common room.

For whatever reason, him and Keira were always the last ones in the common room. They hardly ever talked, but they always seemed to be doing last minute homework, she probably procrastinated as much as him. He usually ended up falling asleep and laterwould  
/be waken up by Keira before she went up to her was the only type of contact they had; him falling asleep and her producing a mild stinging hex to wake him up as she walked upstairs.

He appreciated her for that, of course. Wait. Why was he thinking about her suddenly? He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts and followed his friends into the train; James being dragged by Remus so as to stop him from going over to Lily and embarrassing  
himself.

"Lily! Keira!" Yelled Marlene McKinnon, running towards them. " I missed you guys!" The girls exchanged hugs.

"Let's go in" said Keira quickly, before Marlene started talking. She didn't want to stay out here for too long, all the seats would be taken up, and Marlene was known for talking way too much.

They managed to find an empty compartment- and, sure enough,before they'd even sat down Marlene was already telling them about one of her flings over the summer. Keira smiled to herself, looking at her two friends. She'd missed this.

"-and then, would you believe it? He told me that-" Marlene was cut short by James, Sirius, Remus and Peter entering their compartment.

"Can we stay here? Everywhere else is full" Asked James, trying to catch Lily's eyes, who determinedly looked away as shegot up to hug Remus. Lily and Remus got on really well, considering he was a marauder.

"Yeah, stay, stay!" Exclaimed Marlene,smiling. She was an extremely social person; the more people around, the better. Kiera could not relate. It's not like she was shy or anything, she just preferred to be around less people.

She wished the marauders weren't sitting here. She wouldnt have minded if it was Remus, or even James and Peter; it was Sirius Black that was the problem. Yes, he was charming and good looking,but forwhatever reason he made her nervous. Kiera hated that.  
/She liked to stay calm and in control. Anyone who disrupted that she would stay away from. Sirius was the only guy that intimidated her, so she kept her distance, although he had tried to get with her two years back, and she had declined,ignoringthe  
/voice in the back of her head telling her to go along with it.

"Oh, fuck, I've just remembered!" Keira was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard lily swearing. "We've got to go to our prefect compartment" she said, pulling Remus with her out of their compartment; they were both prefects.

"Holy shit. I forgot Remus was a prefect" said Sirius carelessly, leaning back. Keira found herself looking at him. As much as she avoided him, she couldnt help staring at him every once in a while. She tried to stop her eyes from flitting to his

handsome face...to watch him flickhis elegant black hair out of his deep grey eyes... _stop,_ she thought to herself, _don't be ridiculous._ And with that she moved her eyes to her window.

The rest of the train ride consisted of her talking to James and Marlene, but mostly just watching from her corner as they all talked animatedly. Again, it wasn't that she was shy, she just preferred to observe the conversation as she didn't have

anything importantenough to put in. It was only a few times where she felt Sirius was looking at her, but she just told herself she was imagining it and focused on slowing her heart rate down. See? This is what annoyed her. With guys, she

was always in control,nevernervous. She was known for being a placid person. But with Black, it was a different story. Feeling more and more irritated, she leant against the cool window and watched fields upon fields blur past.

* * *

 **ok. So this is the first ever fanfiction I've ever written, so forgive me if its bad, if anyone even reads this. I also apologize for the definite typos. For some reason although I write it correctly, when I post it my phone fucks up and joins up words. Sorry for that. If you did enjoy this,however, make sure to review or put your thoughts in, and expect more chapters. Xxx**


	2. What do you see

**As i said before, I apologize for the many typos. Although I write it out pretty much perfectly, when I post it the ap I use somehow messes it up. I try to fix it but it happens again. I'm really frustrated. I hope you can still enjoy the fanfic though**

* * *

Thetrain had slowed down to a stop. James looked at his watch, confused.

"But we're not supposed to be there for almost another hour."

Keiraglanced at the window. Sure enough, she couldn't see the castle.

"why've they stopped then?" Said Marlene, frowning.

As if in answer, the compartment suddenly turned cold.

"Wha-" James started to say, but the door suddenly opened. A hooded figure glided in.

Keira recognized that figure, it was a dementor, and was about to say so but her thoughts were clouded, it wasn't only the room that felt cold, it felt as though her body was freezing up. She could hear a man laughing in the distance, followed by screams.  
They sounded familiar... No. No, no, no. Not this.

Sirius watched as the dementor slidedout of the compartment. He felt paralyzed. Like he couldn't be happy again. He looked over at the others; they seemed to be in the same position. Except for Keira. She was shaking, soundlessly moving her mouth.

"Kiera- oh my god, Keira are you ok?" Marlene had rushed over to her side, holding her face. The shaking seemed to have stopped, but her eyes still were vacant.

"What the hell just happened?" Exclaimed James, referring both to Keira and the hooded figures.

"Those were dementors" said someone, entering the compartment. It was professor Mcgonagall, holding whatseemed to be chocolate.

"Give her this. It'll make her feel better. Now, I trust you will take care of her. I have more students to attend to" she said handing a confused Peter chocolate and leaving. Marlene was now murmuring something to Keira, who seemed back to normal, apart  
from her now deathly pale face. Peter handed her the chocolate. Keira took it without question and ate some, while the others watched nervously.

"I'm fine" said Keira, making them jump. "those were dementors. This can happen. The way you're affected justdepends othe worst memories you have" 

Her friends nodded, not knowing what to do.

James cleared his throat. " well, im going to check on lily and Remus. See how they're holding up"

He walked out. Marlene and Peter, went too, glad to have an opportunity to leave this awkward situation. Now it was just Sirius and Keira in the compartment.

"Are you feeling better?" Sirius asked. Keira looked up sharply, as if realisingonly then that he was there. She had been, after all, going through what had gone through her mind while the dementors were there.

"Yeah, im better. Again, this can happen" she sighed, wishing,although she knew why it had affected her so badly, that it hadn't happened as she had been so vulnerable for those few moments.

"What did you see?" Sirius asked. He knew that the only reason why you would pass out so easily during dementor attacks was if you had experienced something bad.

But when Keira didn't answer, he realized it had been quite a personal question.

* * *

 **This was quite a short chapter, but more will follow. Review if you can! Xxx**


	3. We can arrange that

Keira bent over her parchment paper. The only sounds to be heard in the empty common room was the scratching of her quill and the roaring fireplace. Sirius was somewhere in the kitchens, probably.  
They were only a week in, but they had  
already returned to their old routines;herSirius staying up late every single night.

It still surprised Keira that James potter was never there; Sirius and him were usually inseparable. Well, Sirius was obviously a much lighter sleeper.

This was Keira's favorite time of the day, generally. She could finally be alone, with only her thoughts to accompany her.

She glanced at her watch. Three in the morning. _Go upstairs,_ she thought, _you're going to regret it in the morning._

Well, fuck it. She wasn't tired; she generally went to bed much later than this. Plus, she had homework to finish.

* * *

Sirius climbed through the portrait as quietly as he could. He was still wearing his invisibility cloak, but you could never be too careful.

Kiera was the only one there, of course. Who else would it be at three in the morning?He wouldn't be surprised if she was an insomniac, really. She hadn't noticed him coming in. Deciding he should have some fun with that, he crept up behind her as quietly as he could, and grabbed her shoulders, expecting her to cry out or jump. She didn't even twitch.

"Fuck off, Black" she said, not even looking up from her parchment paper.

"How did you I was there?" Said a very dissapointed Sirius, flopping down on the chair next to her.

"I heard you coming in"

"Well, it's not really easy to walk in a completely silent room without being heard, Mcain"

"Never said it was" replied Keira, still not looking at him.

This was one of the things that was annoying about her; she never seemed to be fazed by anything he did.

"How come you always stay up so late?" He asked, leaning towards her. Still nothing. Girls usually provided some sort of reaction when he got this close.

"Could ask you the same thing"

"Seriously, though"

Keira finally looked at him, her lips twitching. "Was that a pun?"

"Don'tchange the subject" Sirius replied. He was very close to her now. He wasn't interested in her; he just wanted to get a reaction from her, a reaction that wasn't her usual calm ones.

"Ijust love seeing you everyday, Black" she retorted sarcastically.

He leaned over to whisper huskily in her ear"ifyou want to see even more, we can arrange that, Mcain"

Keira flinched. She hadn't been expecting that.

 _There we go,_ thought Sirius, leaning back and smirking. He did have an effect on her.

"I don't think so, _Black_ " her voice was still calm, but there was a definite edgeto it. And with that , she had packed up her things and was walking upstairs.

Keira was screaming internally. She got into her bed as quietly as she could without waking the others. What had just happened?,shethought, staring up at the cieling. Sirius never talked to her. Obviously he'd said those things because he was bored; to get a a reaction from her. And trust herself to give him one.

She was overreacting, she knew that. But Keira just hated the effect he had on her, how he could make her nervous unlike any other guy. That's why she had preferred not talking to him.

 _what a fucking prick,_ she thought to herself, turning over in her bed. Great, now she was probably going to dream about him, if she actually fell asleep. 


	4. Chapter 3

**I've been thinking if I should add quidditch into this... As in maybey Sirius plays it.. But idk I feel like he's too sophisticated for that. I'll see.**  
 **Review if you can! It'll make my day.**

* * *

Ugh. Detention. Kiera walked slowly to Mcgonagalls classroom. This was the second time this week. _Well, Keira_ thought angrily, _if min fucking ervawasn't such a bitch, maybeshe would realize that I hadn't actually done anything._

She reached the classroom, and took a deep breath before entering. This was going to be a long afternoon.

"Back again?" She heard someone say. She felt that familiar jolt in her stomach. Oh. Of course. Sirius Black.

She didn't answer him and sat down in a desk as far from him as possible. James potter was there too.

"What'd you do this time?" James asked, grinning at Keira.

"Covering for Marlene. She's here way too often"

"Yeah, but so are you"

"She had a date tonight. It was eitherto taking the blame for the fireworks or dealing with a depressed Marlene for the rest of the week" Keira shrugged.

Siriussmirked and was about to say something when Mcgonagall entered, subduing them instantly. 

* * *

Keira stared at her watch, tapping her foot impatiently. This was taking fucking ages. It was a Friday. This usually meant going out to hogsmeade for a drink, not watching James Potter doodling Lily's name on his book.  
Her neck hairs suddenly prickled. She'd just gotten the feeling someone was staring at her.  
Sure enough, she slightly tilted her head and saw Sirius looking at her. What the fuck? She looked back down at her paper quickly. Why was he doing that? Oh. He was probably doing it to get a reaction from her, as he'd done last week in the common  
room. Sure enough, he'd noticed Keira's now pink cheeks and smirked again. God, she hated when he did that. But he did look so sexy, too. That was probably why she hated it. Shit. Again, he'd gotten a reaction from her. Why her? Why not any  
of the other blonde bimbos he always seemed to go after? Why couldn't he just leave her alone. Why- _stop,_ she told herself sternly. _Calm down. Just treat him like any other guy._

Yes, that seemed like a good idea. Treat him like her other "distractions".  
She turned her head towards him, and gave him one of her playful smiles.  
 _Fuck, she looks good when she does that_ Sirius thought, still looking at her. He watched as she flipped her sleek hair, exposing her neck to him, as she leaned forwards and her skirt moved upwards and exposed more of her creamy thigh.  
Keira glanced at Sirius again. He wasn't smirking anymore, but was most definitely looking at her legs.  
 _Ha. I've still got it,_ Keira smiled to herself. She should do this more often.

* * *

"Keira!" Keira was in the common room, as usual. She was waiting for Marlene to come back from her date so they could go out. It was already pretty late, so the only people in the common room where, as expected, her and Sirius. She was reading a book  
when portrait swing open and asobbing whirlwind in the shape of Marlene rushed to her.  
"He stood me up! I was waiting for him in the three broomsticks, but he wasn't there" cried Marlene, flinging herself onto Keira's arms. Keira , there went her plans to go out. Instead shed have to stay in her room consoling Marlene.  
She dragged her upstairs to their rooms, watchedby a very amused had gone out with Mary and Dorcas. Lucky her.  
"An-and th-then" gasped Marlene. " he walked in with that slut Kylie from sl-slytherin!"  
After almost an hour of trying to calm Marlene down.  
"Stay here, ok? I'm going to get some food from the kitchens" said Keira, and she went down the stairs. She was climbing out of the portrait when Sirius spoke again.  
"where are you going?" He asked, lounging in the sofa.  
"The kitchens" Keira replied, trying to ignore the flutter of her stomach.  
"Aren't you scared of getting caught?"  
Keira snorted. "Me? Get caught?"  
shaking her head as if he was ridiculous, she left. And appeared later with tubs of ice cream, and a large bottle of vodka.  
"What?" She said after Sirius raised his eyebrows after seeing the bottle. " she needs to get through it somehow"

Sure enough, after a couple of drinks and plenty of ice cream, Marlene was much happier.  
"Ah,well" she slurred "he was always a loser"  
Keira laughed and leaned against her best friend. She took another swig of vodka. She was going to regret it in the morning, but oh well. They always did this after one of Marlene's breakups.  
"You know Sirius?" Marlene said groggily. "Pretty sure he likes you. Always staring at you, he is"  
"Nah" slurred Keira. "Just trying to wind him up. Think I like him, though"  
Luckily, neither Marlene nor her would remember this tommorow.  
Keira liked getting drunk. It made her loosen up, madeher less nervous. She wished she could've been this pissed in the clubs instead of stuck in their dorms, but what can you do? 


	5. Chapter 5

Keira leant back on the common room sofa, listening to Remus, who was next to her, talk to James and Peter. She still didn't know why they liked her. She didn't say much, just observed mostly.

Judging from the jealous looks she was getting from other girls since she'd started hanging out with them, they probably thought the same thing.

She averted her attention to Sirius, who had just come in, in a lip battle with another girl. Keira doubted wether he knew her name. He was doing this a lot lately. The little communication they'd had over the past few weeks was cut off. He'd probably  
/gotten bored with her. She couldn't help feeling dissapointed.

Anyway, she doubted she was going to want to talk to him anyway. It was hard enough ignoring the little stabs of jealousy she felt when she saw him with another girl, but after yesterday, when she'd only managed to escape the common room narrowly  
/after she realized him and Emily Brown where about to shag, she didn't think she could stand talking to him. The worst thing was, that wasn't the first time it had happened.

She sighed and looked at James again, who had just said something.

"He's getting worse." He said darkly to Remus, who nodded.

"And it's with a different girl each night" Keira said quietly.

"Next time he tries to kick us out of our room to shag, I'm going to make sure that's the last thing he'll do" Remus muttered.

"I get that he's cut up about his family, but-" Peter said before realized Keira was there, after the look James sent him.

But this wasn't really surprising. She had assumed as much. She didn't know Sirius at all, really, but from what she'd heard, his family was kinda fucked 'd ran away from home. She also knew that every time Sirius was dealing with something,  
he starting

going with girls, the more the better.

She hated Sirius for that. He didn't know, how could he? But every time he burst into the common room late at night with some girl, it hurther a little. She got over it pretty quick the next day, but then it would happen again and again.

She couldn't help wanted to be in the place of one of those girls, to feel him, to kiss him... Fuck, tobe aknowledged by him. Why was she so affected by him this year? Why couldn't she go to any other guy who actually liked her back and didn't turn  
into a sex addict every time things were fucked up?

Keira muttered something about having and early night, and was eleven in the night. No fucking way was she going to sleep. She'd be off to the kitchens for some food and a nice long walk by the lake. Hopefully when she came back Sirius wouldn't  
be mid shag with another bimbo.

* * *

 **this chapter was really rushed, and quite shitty as a whole, but I wanted to write another chapter as a filler for the next one, which I assure you will be better.**  
 **Review if you can. It'll make me happy!**

 **Xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

Keira wandered back to common rooms from the kitchens, finishing off the muffin the elves had eagerly given her. It was twelve pm, but she was still hungry.

Oh, well. Thank god for her fast metabolism.

The common room was empty. Sirius wasn't there. Probably shagging. The thought didn't bother her as much as it used to. She'd managed to shut down her feelings as best as she could. She was good at that. Blocking everything she didn't likeout. Was it healthy? Probably not, but it was her way with dealing with things, and for now it had worked out just fine.

Keirasank into her favorite armchair, staring at the crackling fireplace. She loved watching the dancing flames.

A tapping at the window bought back from her stupor.

Wait. Wasn't that her Aunt Marie's owl? She never sent her anything. It was probably from Lucy then, her ten year old sister.

Opening the card slowly, she took a deep breath and started reading.

 _Keira_

 _I am writing to you because I don't know if aunt Marie cared enough to tell you. Her and Samuel are getting married next June. I know. Terrible._

 _Although I'm not sure why you hate Samuel all that much; I don't like him either, but I at least pretend I do.I stay away from him when I can, though, as you told me to._

 _Missing you a lot, when are you going to come visit? Aunt Marie is very strict and never lets me leave home much. She also never lets me read or talk in Italian,which I obviouslyfind says a respectable young woman doesn't need to know Italian, and is set on teaching me Latin and improving my is getting on my nerves these days._

 _Write back as soon as you can! Love you!_

 _Lucy_

 __

Keira felt like a weight had dropped on her shoulders. Fuck. Samuel was now going to live in their house. She couldn't go back now, not after what had happened last time she'd seen him.

And now Lucy was going to be left alone with them? She'd manage, she was sure of that.

Where would she live now? She couldn't go back, she couldn't. Would she have to get her own flat? Aunt Marie wouldn't help, she never gave a shit about her.

Keira's mind was made up. She wasn't going back. She'd be getting her own flat as soon as possible. She had some money left from her mum, she could start off whith that.. And then?

She stood up. She was starting to feel overwhelmed, she needed to calm down before..

 _Fuck, get me out of here_

She needed some air. She climbed out of the portrait and made towards the astronomy tower.

 _The astronomy tower is nice,_ she thought vaguely. _The stars are pretty. Just you and the stars. Good to calm down._

But when she got there, there already was someone there. Fuck. She new that person. She turned around to leave, but then thought better of it and sat down with him.

"Hey, Sirius" she said.

"Hey"

She turned to him. He looked preoccupied with something. His face looked lifeless, even more so than it had the past week. But he still made the effort to talk to her.

"You ok?" He asked, taking in her sad face.

"Are you?" Keira replied, avoiding the question.

"Hell no" he muttered darkly, turning his head to look at the stars again. He took a swig from a bottle of firewhisky.

"There's your answer then" she said, taking a swig too after he offered her the bottle.

They satin silence for a while, steadily drinking. A day before, there would be no chance of Keira drinking with Sirius. She wouldn't want to get drunk and lose control with only him. Not that she was worried he would do something, just worried of what she would do. But now she couldn't care less. She was just trying to numb everything for now, and deal with it tommorow.

Keira, as it turned out, was a great drinking buddy, Sirius noticed. He'd never seen her as much of a drinker, but judging by the wayshe drank her alcohol, he was obviously wrong.

"So. What happened?" Keira asked, breaking the comfortable silence. They were both slightly tipsy now, and were on their way to drunk by the rate they were going.

Sirius sighed.

"I'll tell you if you tell me" he said.

"Deal" Keira replied, not breaking eye contact. Drinking made her less nervous.

"Well, around two weeks back, I started receiving letters from my lovely mother" he said, his voice not even angry, just tired, defeated.

"She was, apart from her threats, hinting something about my brother, Regulus, moving on to "bigger and better things".

I had an idea of what she was talking about, but decided not to do anything about it" he took a deep breath.

"well, she was right. I cornered Regulus today. He's a death eater"

Keira took a sharp intake of breath at the news, but didn't say anything. She knew he didn't want her sympathy. Instead, she leant into Sirius and took his hand. His hands were warm against her cold ones.

After a bit Sirius broke the silence.

"Your turn"

Keira pondered her response. She wanted to tell him what had happened, without revealing certain points of her life. Kinda difficult really.

"Ok, so. My aunts getting married to a death eater. AndI'm leaving home" she hoped he wouldn't notice how they were connected, that she was leaving her aunts house, not her parents, who were dead.

"Shit. Well, join the club. I ran away too" Sirius said, flashing her a ghost of a smile.

"Well, it's not just that. The guys a death eater, but he's also a pervert. He tried to rape me. Stopped him, of course, but I can't do anything about it, because my aunt would never believe me. I just told my sister to stay away from him. Didn't tell her why though. The kid probably thinks I have a wierd grudge towards him."

Sirius put his arm around Keira. Her story was pretty vague but with the alcohol he wasn't his usual sharp self.

"Well, our lives kinda suck, don't they" he said, and Keira laughed. He liked her laugh. It lit up her sad golden eyes.

"Idon't even know how to get my own fucking apartment" Keira commented, and they laughed again, properly. With the influence of alcohol, yes, but they both felt better.

The rest of the night was a blur; a lot of drinking and laughing. He couldn't really remember much from that point.

Sirius woke up in the common room sofa. When had he gotten here? He felt a warm weight on top of him. Keira was sleeping next to him with her head laying in his the fuck? Then the lastnights memories returned,along with a splitting headache. It was six in the morning. They had around two hours to start classes, at least. But he had no hangover tonic left.

Should he wake Keira up? But she looked so peaceful, sleeping .Their clothes were still on. They hadn't shagged. He didn't know weather to be relieved or realized how vulnerable Keira looked at the moment. She usually reminded him of a cat with its claws constantly out, in case anything bad came her way.

He felt slightly unsettled by what shehad told himlast night. The way she said it, like it wasn't that big of deal. As if she was saying _oh well, I've gone through worse._ As if in response, Keira moved slightly, and her shirt moved up a bit, revealing the end of a scar.

He realized how little he knew her. How little anyone knew her probably. She still hasn't told her why she was leaving home. Probably something to do with her aunt. But why leave her parents?

Sirius shook Keira lightly to wake her up. He felt fond towards her now.

She opened her eyes slowly. Then, taking in her surroundings, she jumped. " what the-" her eyes fell on the empty firewhisky bottles. " oh"

Sirius smirked. He liked seeing her flustered. "Do you have some hangover tonic?"

Keira blinked. " what? Oh, yeah I'll- I'll go get it" and she got up and went through her bag. She threw him one. And took hers quickly, before leaving going to the girls rooms quickly. Clearly, they weren't to talk about what had happened last night.

* * *

 **This was kinda long, but I enjoyed writing it. Expect more of the marauders and Keira's friends.**

 **Review please?  
**

 __


End file.
